


In Your Sleep

by Imposterzoe



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:46:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23265664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imposterzoe/pseuds/Imposterzoe
Summary: On a lonely night in small hotels across the world, many queens find out how much they do with the little control sleep leaves a person.
Relationships: Bianca Del Rio/Danny Noriega | Adore Delano, Brooke lynn hytes/Yvie oddly (mentioned), Courtney Act/Willam Belli, Kim Chi/Naomi Smalls, Monét X Change/Nina West, Sharon Needles/Alaska Thunderfuck 5000, Sutan Amrull | Raja/Manila Luzon, Trixie Mattel/Katya Zamolodchikova, Violet Chachki/Pearl Liaison
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	In Your Sleep

* * *

You don't have control over yourself when you're asleep. 

If you are truly deep in slumber you have no real control. You may shut your mouth to stop snoring, or roll on your side to make room for someone else. But once you are lost in unconsciousness there is nothing stopping your mouth from falling back open. Nothing stopping you from rolling back over and crushing whoever you're sharing a bed with.

On a lonely night in small hotels across the world, many queens find out how much they do with the little control sleep leaves a person. 

~~~~~

(Shalaska)

Aaron snores in his bed, a habit Justin always despised. He can't help but glare at the bed opposite of him. They were both exhausted and he just wanted to sleep.

"Can you not?" he whines to the sleeping man. 

Almost immediately Aaron turns on his side, the room quieting. Justin jerks back in shock. 

"T-thank you," he whispers.

"Anything for you," Aaron mumbles. The room is silent after that. Justin slowly walks over to the other man. He was sleeping as soundly as ever. No sign he woke up.

He couldn't remember Aaron ever talking in his sleep before. He slowly laid back in his bed. He fades out of consciousness and those words follow him asleep.

"Anything for you."

As his mind falls away, Justin doesn't realize he says it out loud.

~~~~~ 

(Rajila)

Sutan and Karl didn't mind sharing a bed. Even when they had two, they preferred to share one.

That night, Karl woke up gasping, fighting his rising panic. He could feel Sutan's steady breathing behind him. It calms him but not enough. He feels a scream building up and attempts to force it down.

All of a sudden Sutan throws an arm and a leg over him, pulling him close. His hand finds Karl's face and stills on his cheek.

Karl sighs softly as he feels Sutan's heartbeat on his back. It's slow and steady. His breathing is the same way.

Karl takes a calming breath and tries to sync his breathing with Sutan's. His heart rate slows and his panic fades.

He falls back asleep with "Thank you," falling from his lips.

~~~~~

(Trixya) 

Katya stared up at the ceiling, the only light in the room coming from the bright 2:00 A.M. shining from the alarm clock.

He never usually stayed up late but this quiet night had him contemplating a lot of things. At the front of his sleepless ponderings was his friendship with Trixie, who was passed out beside him. He hadn't bothered to walk to his own room and Katya hadn't bothered with the hassle of trying to make him.

Sometimes Katya wondered if Trixie really wanted to be his friend. His mind slowly started to list out the reasons why he was unlikeable when something touched his ribs.

He looks down and can't stop a smile. Trixie, the boring white guy who didn't like hugs, was nuzzling into his side.

Katya wraps an arm over Trixie's shoulders, reading his sleeping face. Instead of a real emotion all he gets from Trixie is  _ safe _ .

Trixie feels safe with him and that's all it takes for Katya's doubts to melt away. 

As Trixie nuzzles deeper in his side, he feels drowsiness rise like an ocean inside of him.

Succumbing to the waves, he tightens his arm around Trixie. His last thought before he goes under is one word.

_ Safe _

~~~~~

(Branjie)

Jose is startled from dreams of a lover past. The same lover who lays in the bed next to him. He's whimpering.

Jose raises his head best he can and fights a gasp. There is a very obvious bulge in Brock's covers. His sheets are curled in his fist and his face is red.

Jose blushes deeply. Brock mumbles something and it takes a second for Jose to decipher it. He blushes harder when he does.

"I missed you," Brock had whispered.

Jose feels hope bloom in his chest. Brock was missing someone. Maybe him.

He never stopped loving Brock and he doubted he ever would. Memories flash before his eyes.

Late night chats. Breakfast in bed. The first wondrous kiss they had alone, no cameras, PA's, or queens in sight. Making love for the first time and feeling closer than ever.

He's removed from his memories by Brock whispering, admitting his love to the person in his dreams. And the blossoming hope in Jose dies.

No. Dies sounds too sudden.

Brock whispers, "I love you, Jovan."

And it's the spark that sets Jose's hope aflame. His chest becomes an inferno. Silent tears of gasoline make their way down his face, his dying hope growing hotter.

Sleep brings a welcome relief but his dreams torture him. He watches the end over and over. Brock's words hurt him over and over. He sees what he is sure is his future, Jovan and Brock kissing. He watches in horror again and again as Jovan kisses the lips he so craves. Each kiss is a spark. Each kiss lights another part of him on fire.

As his ex wakes up and rushes to take a cold shower, Jose sleeps. And allows himself to mourn for what he has lost.

When he wakes up, he'll burn out. The lump of coal his heart has become will sit and smolder as he watches Brock pursue Jovan. Maybe one day someone will come along and smother his flames.

But for now, as his sleep is plagued with visions of his past and possible future, Jose just burns.

~~~~~ 

(Scyvie)

Jovan groans in irritation as he flops on his bed. He loved Jacob, he really did. But he hated sharing a room with him with a passion.

Partially due to his sleep-rambling. It was fucking awful. Jovan laid down, desperate to get to get to sleep before Jacob. He could sleep through it, so long as he fell asleep first.

Unfortunately, Jovan was a person who stayed up late with his thoughts. Even when he was bone tired, he couldn't just pass out. Jacob was a person who could fall asleep at the drop of a hat.

So when he mumbled, "Good night," and immediately fell asleep, Jovan seriously considered asking to room with someone else.

He sighed softly, relinquishing himself to having a conversation with an unconscious person. He was just managing to nod off when it started.

"Where are you going?" a small voice whispered. Jacob sounded like a child. A scared child.

Jovan frowned. This was new. Usually Jacob's sleep ramblings were about ponies and how much he loved his moms. Mostly ponies though.

"I'm not going anywhere," Jovan whispered. For some reason he felt like if he raised his voice, Jacob would become genuinely frightened.

Jacob's sleeping face contorted. "Then why are you running away? Are you running from me?" His voice was still small. Scared.

It made Jovan want to cry. "No. I would never run from you. Why would you think that?"

Jacob shifted his body, his face still scared and confused. "You ran from Brooke. I thought that meant I was next."

Jovan flinched at the mention of Brooke. "I'm not running from anyone. I'm right here." 

He gets up and carefully grabs Jacob's hand, pressing it to his face. "See? I'm right here."

Jacob rubbed his face, but he's still frowning. "But you're still going away. Please don't run from me."

Jovan crawled into the bed, pulling Jacob into his arms. "I'm not running. I promise. I'm here."

Jacob grips him tight, his face even more fearful. 

"You don't think you are. But you're moving away." Jacob's grip gets even tighter. "Please stop running. I can't keep up. I don't wanna lose my best friend. Please." 

Tears fall slowly from Jovan's eyes. He gripped Jacob back. He barely caught the last few words.

"Why? Why are you running?"

Jovan flinched. He didn't need to have this conversation. He could go to his own bed and throw headphones in on full blast. Shack up with someone else for the night. Wake Jacob up and tell him to stay up until he falls asleep.

He flinched harder when he realized he was just thinking of ways to run away.

Something about the fact that Jacob is asleep makes it easier for him to confess.

"I'm scared ok? I'm running… I ran from Brooke because we were drunk and he said he loved me. It scared me. So I ran and I'm still fucking running. I didn't mean to run from you. I'm sorry. I was scared. I'm still so scared."

Jovan's crying. It wakes Jacob.

"Woah! What's wrong babe?" he cries in shock. He never remembers the things he said in his sleep or the things said to him. Jovan is grateful for it. 

He mumbles something about a nightmare and allows Jacob to hold him as he cries.

He whispers that he was scared and doesn't tell Awake Jacob how deep it goes. Sleep Jacob knew how deep it goes but those sides of Jacob never exchanged memories.

His tears tire him out and he's swept into sleep. He slumbers and prays to anyone who was listening that when he woke, he'd finally be ready to stop running.

~~~~~

(Ninex)

Andrew was someone who really liked his personal space. Kevin was someone who lived to invade that space at every opportunity.

When they were stuck in a room with one bed, Andrew originally opted to sleep on the floor.

But with a bat of his eyes and pleading voice, Kevin convinces him to share the bed.

They're facing away from each other when they fall asleep. Something wakes Kevin up.

He looks around and lets out a soft, "aw!" when he looks down. Andrew was a person who loved space. But as he was lost in dreams, he had turned around and was spooning Kevin.

He felt Andrew's head on his shoulder and his arm was tight around his waist.

Kevin slowly reaches for his phone and switches to the camera. He's about to snap the picture when he focuses on Andrew's face. 

There's the slightest hint of a smile as he nuzzles into Kevin's shoulder. There's a contentment that Kevin hasn't seen before even when Andrew was with Brock.

He locks his phone and sets it down. He leans his head back against Andrew's. He didn't need to capture this moment. 

As he shuts his eyes, a smile on his own face, he lives in this moment. As he dreams, Andrew holds him tighter. 

Andrew likes his space, but as he slept the only thing he wanted was someone to share it with. And Kevin was more than happy to oblige.

~~~~~

(Pearlet)

Jason was a light sleeper. It only took the slightest bump to wake them up. So when they were bone tired after a long gig, they begged Matt to keep it down for the night.

Matt assured them he'd be quiet. But once he was asleep there wasn't much he could do.

It's midnight exactly when Jason is startled awake. It's only been a few hours and they were so tired. As they focus their eyes, they're startled back.

They aren't sure if they're awake or not as they stare at the figure standing in the corner. There was a book on the floor that had been knocked over. Jason knew that's what woke them up.

They keep their eyes on the figure and fight to keep calm. They softly call out to Matt but there's no reply. They call again, fighting panic as they become more and more sure that a person is in the corner.

All of a sudden the figure takes a lumbering step forward. Jason presses against the pillows, frozen. They want to call for Matt again but their voice refuses to work as the figure moves closer to them.

Jason tries to force words out but fear has them paralyzed. The figure walks stiffly but gets closer nonetheless. 

It reaches the end of the bed and stretches out a hand. It reaches for Jason's face. Matt needed to wake up. Now.

Jason's words rush out of them loud and scared.

"Wake up, Pearl!" They scream. They're crying, leaning back from the pale hand. Matt wakes up and seems shocked. 

By the fact that he's standing at the end of Jason's bed, reaching towards their face.

"What the- ?" he whispers. Jason yelps at the voice. They're freaked out.

Matt takes a deep breath. "Go to sleep Jason. It's ok."

It takes a while to get Jason back to sleep but Matt manages. He doesn't risk laying down. He didn't want to scare Jason again with his sleepwalking.

So as Jason gets the sleep they so crave, Matt stays up, refusing to relinquish control to his slumber anymore tonight.

~~~~~

(Biadore)

Roy sighed as he stared at Danny's face. This was the reason he hated watching movies with the younger queen. He got about half way through one, even if he picked it himself, before he passed out on Roy's shoulder. 

So Roy decided to focus on his twitter for a while, whatever movie they were watching, turning into background noise.

He's enthralled with his phone when he picks up a strange sound and movement on his shoulder.

Glancing down, he sees Danny rocking back and forth while humming to the tune of the song playing from the movie.

"Danny?" Roy whispers.

Danny doesn't respond, continuing to hum to himself.

"You're still sleeping," Roy meant it as a question but it came out a statement. He can't help but smile warmly as Danny continues to hum along in his sleep.

Roy doesn't realize he put his phone down as he watches Danny. He doesn't realize he lowers his head on top of Danny's. 

As sleep captures him, he doesn't realize that he's humming with Danny. All he knows is that he doesn't stop smiling.

~~~~~

(Naochi)

Davis and Sang have weird sleep habits. But neither of them will know of the other's habits until this night.

Sang wakes up first. There's a scratching sound that's making him insane. Rubbing his eyes, he looks over at Davis. 

The taller man is lying still, his face crammed in the pillow. But as Sang looks closer, he notices Davis' hand moving on the nightstand.

Sliding out of bed, he walks to the other side of Davis' bed. He takes a glance and promptly covers his mouth to keep from laughing to loud.

There was a sketchbook on the stand and the scratching sound came from the pencil in Davis’ hand.

He was sketching... in his sleep.

Sang giggled as he slowly took the pencil from Davis' hand. Davis groaned in protest and swung his hand out, knocking the sketchbook to the floor.

Sang calmly grabbed the hand and set it by Davis' side. It stopped moving and he leaned down to pick up the sketchbook. The page was full of scribbles.

"This explains most of your outfits," he mumbles. Chuckling to himself, he put it back on the nightstand and laid back in bed. As sleep took hold of him, it was Davis' turn to see what Sang did in his sleep.

[...]

Davis raises his head, scratching his hair. There's a strange rustling sound that hurts his ears. It came from the other side of the room.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he whisper-shouts at Sang. There's no answer but the rustling doesn't stop.

Groaning, Davis gets up and walks toward the other bed. Sang was on his side, the blanket covering his body but Davis could see that his arm was moving.

He leans forward and slowly peels the blanket back. As he gets a good look at Sang, he only has one question.

"Where in the hell did you get a cookie?"

Sang snores in reply as he brings the cookie back to his mouth, taking a small bite. He mumbles to himself as he chews.

Slowly, Davis eases the cookie from his friends grasp. Sang grunts in protest but snuggled deeper into the pillow. Davis just shook his head with a laugh and set the cookie on Sang's nightstand.

Slipping back into bed, Davis sighs softly. He drifts off, one last question hitting him before he goes under.

_ Who scribbled in my sketchbook? _

~~~~~

(Witney)

Willam knew all about the lack of control that came with sleep and he used it to his advantage.

When he shares a room with Shane, he makes sure to pull out all the stops. Once Shane is asleep, his fun begins.

Opting for one of the classics, he pulls out his shaving cream. Slowly putting some in Shane's hand, he watches his face for signs of alertness.

Grabbing a feather off one of the boas strewn around the room, something else catches his eye. On the table there's some black face paint Willam boosted off of Sharon for no real reason. This was perfect.

Carefully smearing the paint on Shane's other hand, he grabs the feather. Slowly tickling Shane's nose, he waits for his instincts to kick in.

He doesn't have to wait long.

With surprising force, Shane smacks his shaving cream filled hand to his face. There's a quiet moment as Shane sits there with his hand on his face, obviously awake now.

"WILLAM!" he roars in anger. 

The man in question cracks up, falling back on his bed. Shane swipes at the shaving cream on his face with his other hand. 

Willam cracks up again as Shane smears a black line across his face. Running into the bathroom, Shane screams at the sight of his face.

"What have you done?!" he screams from the bathroom. Willam just howls in response.

Shane takes a long time to scrub his face clean. When he comes back out, Willam is sprawled on his bed, passed out with a self satisfied smirk on his face.

Shane snarls. Two can and will play at this game. 

Grabbing a bowl from the small kitchenette, he fills it up with warm water. If Willam wanted to act childish so would he.

He slowly submerges Willam's hand, keeping a careful watch on his face. Once he was sure Willam wouldn't wake up he slipped back into his own bed. Before he knows it, he's back to sleep.

He sleeps through Willam cursing heavily and the awkward call to the main desk for more sheets. He sleeps through Willam's 5 minute long glare.

He only wakes once to Willam's laugh.

"Touche," he chuckles. Shane allows himself to drift off again, a smile of his own gracing his face. 

He also sleeps through Willam rubbing baby oil on his toes but that's neither here nor there.

~~~~~

People have no real control over themselves when they sleep. Some talk. Some snore. Some seek closeness. Some just sleep.

I could tell you about Sasha's crazed sleep Russian that scares the shit outta Shea. 

Or about Jujubee's need to latch onto Raven in the middle of the night.

Or Thorgy waking Betty up by screaming, "Fuck you Bob!"

But I think you get the jist. You could be the most control seeking person in the world. But you still need to sleep.

No matter what happens, you relinquish your control to your slumber each time. So you accept it.

You could be the most control seeking person in the world. But no matter what, it will no longer be yours.

Not in your sleep.


End file.
